This post is really somewhat of a journal entry, but if it hit, let it stick. I’ll be honest with y’all, as I try my best to be. I lose myself from time to time. We all do. It happens because life happens. But between late 2020 and most of 2021….WHEW I was going through it. I was finally going through healing and self-accountability for my last romantic endeavor, and loneliness was taking its toll. So, when 2022 came around and I was in a better place, I just wanted to have fun. And boy, did I have a time last year!
When it came time to prepare a vision board for 2023, I THOUGHT my word for the new year would be “reinvention.” I was stuck on that for a while. I needed to look a certain way, act a certain way, make a certain amount of money, and make some serious life moves. I needed to “be different.” That was before praying and meditating on my 2023 ideas and goals.
God showed me that I didn’t need to “reinvent myself.” I needed to realign myself with my purpose for this site and the other plans He had for my life.
NBA legend Kobe Bryant was great because he took the time to be great. How hungry are you REALLY for the goals you have for your life?
How are those New Year resolutions coming along y’all? I’m hoping that this post helps recommit to those goals!
With the passing of NBA great Kobe Bryant, everyone is discussing his skills on the court, his work with Mamba Sports Academy, his philanthropy, his multimedia company Granity Studios, etc. He was doing so much and working his tail off even after his “retirement.”
When it comes down to it,Kobe was great at what he did on and off the court because HE PUT IN THE TIME TO BE GREAT. He was committed to excellence even when he probably didn’t feel like it. Getting to practice hours before everyone else to work on his shots. Putting in the time to coach his teams. Working on his Oscar-winning short. That stuff takes time and effort. But to be great means going above and beyond the normal.
It all comes down to just how HUNGRY you are for what you want.
I find, in working with people, that many talk a big game about what they want to do and accomplish. I even have had to check myself on a few occasions for running my mouth and then not doing anything to really change my circumstances. But, if you want to do great things with your work and life, it requires a serious appetite to do well. In order to get there, you have to push yourself to do more than you thought you could. You have to (a lot of times) start early and finish late.
When you see people getting ahead or “passing you by,” it’s not always that they are more talented than you but it really comes down to how bad they want it. The fact that they’re willing to do what you don’t always want to do or believe in yourself enough to do. The fact that they take the time to work on becoming better while you rest on your talent and slack off. The fact that they just do what they feel that they are able to do while you hang back. Maybe I’m just speaking to myself, but I know somebody else has to feel that!
In order to really get to a new level, you have to develop this fight in you, this hunger. This mentality that says “I’m going to work my butt off to be the best that I can personally be. I’m going to make things happen because there is no other option for me.”
It’s not always that they are more talented than you but it really comes down to how bad they want it.
It’s that commitment, that drive, that work ethic that goes beyond what a regular person is willing to do that will get you ahead. You may have to change up your habits or your processes. You may have to make some sacrifices and difficult choices. You may not even see the light at the end of the tunnel right now and feel like all of the effort is all for naught. But trust, if what you are doing is your purpose in life, you will make it. But it’s keeping that hunger for your goals that is going to help you get there.
I know it’s interesting that I, as the creator of an inspirational website, would post this Words of Wisdom clip from fitness trainer and speaker Jared Hamilton. Even though the made this particularly for fitness goals, I think it can be applied to any goal that you have in life.
The gist of this clip from Jared is that you’re not always going to feel like working on your goals. If the only time that you can put in the effort is when you’re feeling motivated to, you’re going to struggle to get to where you want to be. There are going to be plenty of days when your motivation is low, or you’re not seeing results, or you’re feeling lazy, but you have to do it anyway. Success is based on consistency, discipline, and true commitment. Meaning you do what needs to be done even if you don’t want to. You stay committed to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you.
Lawd. Even with this site and all of the positive content I take in, I still struggle to stay on top of what I’m working on and involved in. Even as I write this crazy short post and batch other pieces of content, I’d much rather be binge-watching something on Netflix. But I owe it to myself to commit and execute on a streamlining process to ultimately make my life easier. I owe it to myself to do what I have to do to get to where I want to be. We all do.
(This post is a part of my “B” series which I’ll continue to deliver once a month! Continue to B Kind. B Silly. B Inspired. B Imperfect.)
I’m typing this, I’m drinking my water and internally fighting the temptation to have dessert and bread at a conference meeting. Why? Because I told myself that this was the year I finally get my weight down. But I’ve been playing around the first three months of 2019, if I’m honest. I haven’t been putting as much work as I think.
Anyone who’s serious about the gym knows that exercising and nutrition are key. In fact, nutrition is more important. I like working out…but I LOVE to eat. There lies the problem. You can’t outwork a bad diet. If you’re still eating whatever you want whenever you want, any other work you put in is in vain (Which is why the number on my scale and my measurements have barely moved, but I digress).
The same goes for any goal you have on your vision board or in your mind. If you’re only kinda sorta working at, you’re going to kinda sorta get results on occasion. It’s kind of wasting time, don’t you think? If you’re going to play around with your goals, you might as well just chill and do nothing because half-done work isn’t going to cut it long-term. You have to make up in your mind that, whatever your goal is, you’re going to make it happen. That you HAVE to make it happen. You have to be all in or you might as well forget it.
I’ve realized too that that comes with having a purpose outside of just yourself. I’m a huge fan of motivational speaker Eric Thomas who consistently puts out content for fans across the world. One audio clip shared online is “The Power Of Your Why,” where Eric explains that having a purpose for your goal outside of just your own desires is what’s going to ultimately push you to keep going.
When you think about your kids or your family or others that are counting on you, that helps in a major way. When I consider my family and others who have poured into my life (and even my future family), it helps kick my butt into gear when I don’t feel like doing things. When I start to think the life I want to provide for my future kids, it’s like cold water being thrown on my face. It’s a wake-up call that what I’m doing now, good or bad, will affect them and they’re not even here. I can only imagine actually being a parent or guardian with other people seriously depending on you. Having a purpose outside of just yourself or a determination to impact others will push you to keep going.
So, as we kick off the second quarter of 2019, I challenge you all as I challenge myself. Be all in with your goals or get out altogether.
This past weekend, Hannah Beachler made history by becoming the first African-American to win an Oscar for best film production design. It was nice to finally put a face to a design of the box office hit, Black Panther. Part of Hannah’s award speech below praised her family for their support, followed by encouraging creatives to keep pushing towards their dreams. I saved the speech after it resonated with the transition stage of life I’m embarking on.
“I did my best, and my best was good enough,” Hannah shared in her speech. How many of us can honestly say this and confidently mean it? If I’m just honest, I don’t always believe I’m doing enough. My family and friends know that I am close to a perfectionist—from my hairstyles, style of dress, or even academics and career goals. If anything appears slightly off, it’s as if the world is coming to an end when clearly that’s not the case! I am learning to not beat myself up as much and to be content in what I have or give.
Prime example: my present focus is on getting admitted to graduate school and getting a new job These processes excite me while simultaneously brings anxiety. Accepting where I am versus where I want to be is a recurring thought. I hear all the time: “Lex, you are still so young. You have your whole life ahead of you to do what you want.” This is a fact, and so I try to be a little more easygoing and not rush what takes time to blossom. God’s calling on my life is a reminder to appreciate the experiences that have led me to this present time. If something did not turn out the way it was expected to, such as a job opportunity, relationship, or friendship, I can still credit these situations to growth. Because I can say that I learned a lesson, even if at the time I didn’t like the lesson, any season of disappointment is temporary.
Additionally, don’t allow the lack of approval of others to dictate the credit you give yourself. Oftentimes, we look to our families or relationship partners or supervisors to clap for us, but what if they stopped? Or, what if their usual compliments were replaced with harsh critiques with little to no positive feedback? My dad has always taught me, “If I, as your biological father, can’t discourage you, who can?” In other words, validation of your worth is more essential than validation from others.
Hannah recognized this with the set of Black Panther, which led to success. I recognize this in my press to my dreams, which ultimately leads to success. I encourage each of you to stick to your purpose, no matter who sticks by your side and approves. You won’t be an inspiration to everyone, but look in the mirror and be proud of that person that looks back at you.
And lastly, set a standard of excellence, whatever that encompasses. I remember as a child, students in my class would compare grades on various subject tests. In hindsight, this was silly. If you earned an A, you were praised for your intelligence. If you earned a C, you weren’t praised as highly as the “A” students and ignored. Even social media platforms have become comparison tools used to measure excellence. Don’t be deceived: seeing someone advance in a line of work like yours does not make you less than. Their process isn’t yours. Keep working, and know that your best is enough.
Imperfectly B 