B Authentic

(THIS POST IS A PART OF MY “B” SERIES WHICH I’LL DELIVER ONCE A MONTH!
CONTINUE TO B KIND. B SILLY. B INSPIRED. B IMPERFECT.)

If you’ve been reading my words and watching my thoughts on YouTube or Instagram, you know that I’m pretty open and honest about the mistakes I’ve made and the lessons I’ve learned. Why? Because I really want other people to not do the same crazy mess! I want us all to be the best that we can be. 

So this “B” post is timely because I’ve been being more consistent and disciplined with building my “brand” online, figuring out what I want to put forth and what separates me from the pack. It’s hard sometimes because you feel like you have to be like some of the other influencers out there in order to get any traction. That took me back to years past.

Continue reading “B Authentic”

B Assertive When It Comes To Your Worth

(This post is a part of my “B” series which I’ll deliver once a month!
Continue to B Kind. B Silly. B Inspired. B Imperfect.)

“Know your worth and add tax.”

Like many of us, I have struggled with insecurities and low self-esteem in a variety of aspects like my looks and my career. I’ve felt like I wasn’t good enough in spite of everything that I’m doing. I even created a fun but vulnerable video to Demi Lovato‘s “I Love Me” (remixing the Don’t Rush Challenge) where I admitted that I am still learning how to fully love myself right where I am. It’s a constant journey filled with ups and downs.

I have to admit that I’m not as assertive when it comes to my worth as I thought.

Continue reading “B Assertive When It Comes To Your Worth”

B Hungry For Your Goals

How are those New Year resolutions coming along y’all? I’m hoping that this post helps recommit to those goals!

With the passing of NBA great Kobe Bryant, everyone is discussing his skills on the court, his work with Mamba Sports Academy, his philanthropy, his multimedia company Granity Studios, etc. He was doing so much and working his tail off even after his “retirement.”

When it comes down to it, Kobe was great at what he did on and off the court because HE PUT IN THE TIME TO BE GREAT. He was committed to excellence even when he probably didn’t feel like it. Getting to practice hours before everyone else to work on his shots. Putting in the time to coach his teams. Working on his Oscar-winning short. That stuff takes time and effort. But to be great means going above and beyond the normal.

It all comes down to just how HUNGRY you are for what you want.

I find, in working with people, that many talk a big game about what they want to do and accomplish. I even have had to check myself on a few occasions for running my mouth and then not doing anything to really change my circumstances. But, if you want to do great things with your work and life, it requires a serious appetite to do well. In order to get there, you have to push yourself to do more than you thought you could. You have to (a lot of times) start early and finish late.

When you see people getting ahead or “passing you by,” it’s not always that they are more talented than you but it really comes down to how bad they want it. The fact that they’re willing to do what you don’t always want to do or believe in yourself enough to do. The fact that they take the time to work on becoming better while you rest on your talent and slack off. The fact that they just do what they feel that they are able to do while you hang back. Maybe I’m just speaking to myself, but I know somebody else has to feel that!

In order to really get to a new level, you have to develop this fight in you, this hunger. This mentality that says “I’m going to work my butt off to be the best that I can personally be. I’m going to make things happen because there is no other option for me.”

It’s not always that they are more talented than you but it really comes down to how bad they want it.

It’s that commitment, that drive, that work ethic that goes beyond what a regular person is willing to do that will get you ahead. You may have to change up your habits or your processes. You may have to make some sacrifices and difficult choices. You may not even see the light at the end of the tunnel right now and feel like all of the effort is all for naught. But trust, if what you are doing is your purpose in life, you will make it. But it’s keeping that hunger for your goals that is going to help you get there.

B Committed To What You Said You Were Going To Do

“Commitment is staying true to what you said you were going to do long after the mood that you said it in has left you.”

A new year is a time for a new start. A re-do on whatever happened in the past. That’s why New Year’s resolutions and vision boards are so popular. I don’t knock them at all. In fact, I think it’s important to figure out specific goals you want to accomplish every year (and every month). The problem is that a lot of us rarely stick to them.

For me, it’s been my fitness. I don’t have a problem at all with working out. It’s what I put on my plate that’s always been the problem. And, in case you didn’t know, you really can’t outwork a bad diet. I’ve tried…and FAILED. So I decided that, when it came to my health journey, I was going to focus more on eating cleaner and cutting out the bad stuff. I still struggle, but I’m seeing some results already just from that.

Being committed to this weight loss journey has always been hard because I love food and I’m an emotional/stress eater. So I try to take things a day at a time. I realize, though, that times will get hard and temptations will come. They already have and we’re only in January. But I have goals (and two cruises coming up this year) and I’m trying to get healthy and look good. That means sticking to what I said I was going to do…for real this time.

Some of us start off so strong at the beginning of the year. Then February and March come around and we’re already slacking. By August, we’ve completely fallen off and then December comes, and we’re still in the same place we were in January. Maybe even a little worse off.

What we have to realize is that commitment isn’t just saying yes on the days when you feel like it or the days it feels good. True commitment is saying yes to your goals when you want to and when you don’t. It’s making the necessary changes to your habits and mindset to achieve the goals you want. You may slip up but then get right back up. That’s commitment.

What I’m finding that is helpful in staying committed is having a mission or inspiration outside of just yourself and your wants. It could be your kids and family. It could be others that you know and want to help. Having a why, like Dr. Eric Thomas has shared, helps give you the motivation to keep going even when you want to slack off or quit.

A part of being committed is being willing to make the necessary sacrifices in your journey. In order to get to higher heights, you have to look at what’s working for you and what’s not working. You may not be able to go out with your family and friends all the time. You might have to spend some weekends in or take on some late nights here and there. You might have to cut out TV and put your phone on Do Not Disturb for a while. I know I definitely need to stop ordering food for the sake of my health and my bank account. Think about the changes that you need for yourself to make in order to get ahead.

What we have to realize is that commitment isn’t just saying yes on the days when you feel like it or the days it feels good.

Another thing is that you have to trust the process of getting to where you want to be. A lot of us want quick results and, when we don’t get them, we give up and say “Oh, it wasn’t meant to be.” No, you just don’t want to really work and wait for it. That’s how I’ve been in my weight loss journey but now I’m falling in love with the process of eating cleaner and working out more. I’m a firm believer that things often don’t come easy, and, if and when they do, they don’t really last.

I believe that this year is going to be even better than the last for many of us. Let’s stay committed to whatever it is we said we were going to do, shall we?

Learning To Rest And Regroup

Those who read this site regularly could see that I have been slacking on posting recently. I hadn’t been engaging on social media or sharing much of anything. I’d been slacking on pretty much every area of my life behind the scenes for the past few weeks.

The truth is: I have been exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I haven’t had any energy and that led to me almost breaking down once again. I’ve had a few conversations with others recently that showed that others were going through the same. For me, I needed a break. A break to just not work as much and kind of figure out my next steps to balance my life a little bit better.

Our schedules are so jam-packed with meetings, work, volunteering, school, etc. that we struggle to balance it all. We also struggle with feeling like we HAVE to do everything, especially if we’re leaders on projects or initiatives. That leads to eventual burnout. I know all too well.

So I made myself a promise. From now on, if I’m ever feeling that way, I’m just going to take some time for myself. I struggle so much with this because I feel like if I’m not working, I’m losing. But if I’m losing steam and not giving my all on projects because I’m burned out, I’m still losing. We all have responsibilities, yes, and I can’t just completely quit or my bills don’t get paid. I can’t get completely lazy or things start to fall off. But taking some days to truly rest, especially on the weekends, is beginning to matter more and more to me. My weekdays are already filled with work, meetings, exercise classes, and writing. I don’t want my weekends to be completely filled with the same. It’s okay to rest and regroup. You NEED to.

Here are three things that have helped me with this issue. Hopefully, they help you too.

Don’t feel guilty. There is nothing wrong with taking a little bit of time for yourself, even just a few hours. Whatever you have going on can wait, especially if stress and anxiety are affecting your overall health. Delegate what you can to others. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb. Shut (and lock!) your office or bedroom door. And don’t feel bad one bit.

Re-evaluate your schedule and priorities. This year, I had to take some time to take a look at my schedule and see what I needed to cut out. Beyond binge-watching Netflix, I also needed to cut out working on some projects that I was no longer passionate about or could let other people handle. This freed up some time to work on new things and get some more rest. I also needed to work on my time management overall and be realistic about what I can handle, which is helping. Re-evaluating everything you have on your plate will help you see what you can cut out to make more time for yourself.

Do something (outside of work) that you actually enjoy. Yes, I love writing, but that’s a part of my job, so I didn’t do any of that this weekend. Instead, I went to my boot camp class, took naps, and watched Christmas movies (yes before Thanksgiving. Don’t judge me!). I worked out some emotions and had a relaxing time before getting back to work. Now I feel refreshed. I encourage you also to do something that you enjoy whether it’s getting your nails done, doing a little bit of shopping, or going to the movies. Whatever it is, take some time to relax and enjoy yourself.