This post specifically is one of comfort for me as I still mourn losing loved ones. I hope it is for others who may have lost loved ones and are going through the grieving process.
I remember once seeing a psychic/medium at a food and wine festival with my best friend. I kind of wanted to check the woman out, but my bestie absolutely refused. I got it; it’s not for everybody. Though I’ve never sat down and personally had a reading, that sort of thing never scared me, really. I find comfort in believing that those I’ve lost are in heaven watching over me. Crazy as it may sound, I believe that there are spirits all around us. I just choose to focus on the good ones.
Spirit medium Monica Ten-Kate does too, and shares her gift of spirit to help others whose loved ones have passed over. She even had a show on Freeform called Monica the Medium, which was sadly canceled late last year after just two seasons (for that dumb show featuring those twins from The Bachelor, which I heard was terrible BTW. Good job Freeform). But anyway, on the show, Monica would hear Spirit calling and give random readings to people who needed to hear from their loved ones the most, all while still trying to focus on school, her friends, and dating.
I thought the show was AMAZING, and it actually came at an emotional but perfect time for me. When the first season premiered in August 2015, I had just lost my Nana a few months before. By the time season 2 came out in April the next year, I had lost my Aunt Carissa too that January. Hearing Monica give her “messages from above,” to others, even through the TV, helped me to not only grieve, but gave me a strong sense of comfort and peace, knowing my loved ones were still around in spirit. I laughed, cried, and reflected on memories all while watching this show. Yes, a TV show was played a part of in my healing process. I’ll forever be grateful for that.
Others may think that, “This show was probably scripted. She’s just an actress and this is all fake,” or whatever, but I knew better. I had seen other mediums on TV, and didn’t feel they were genuine or truly caring, even if they did have this gift. Monica was different. She was always very warm and kind with her readings, and gives these great “hugs from heaven” afterward. Where others have been quite generic, Monica was very specific, pointing out things that no one could really know about other people’s families unless they actually knew this people beforehand. I picked up on good vibes, so I rocked with her from the get go.
But it was a TV show, so I told myself I needed to see her do her thing live. Seeing her in action for myself just last night confirmed that Monica’s the real deal. Though Monica lives in San Diego now, she’s actually from Northern Virginia, which isn’t too far from me. So I went to see her when she stopped in town on tour! She gave other people legitimate messages that gave them some closure, comfort and confirmation of the signs they were seeing around them that their loved ones were watching over them. So I wanted to share my experience with y’all.
I didn’t want to tell anyone really that I was going because I figured that they wouldn’t get it. With me being a Christian, often “mediums” and “psychics” are portrayed in the overall faith as some kind of crazy witchcraft and wizardry or something. I pick up on vibes well, and personally never got a bad feeling from Monica. I think she has a special gift that she uses to help others going through rough times in their seasons of loss. I don’t see anything evil or wrong in that at all.
I don’t want to get too in depth about other people’s readings, because I don’t think that’s not my right, but Monica was VERY specific and detailed about what was coming through from Spirit. She knew names, appearances, and other details about these people and their loved ones that she couldn’t have possibly known beforehand. I was tearing up and crying so much, I have a headache even now as I write this. I literally had goosebumps as I watched her interact with people in the audience. Spirits sometimes overlapped each other at times, trying to get through to their loved ones, and Monica gave readings to two different sets of people simultaneously a few times throughout the night. There was even a special reading at the end with two couples who had both lost little girls, one of which Monica sees often in her day to day! These two little girls came together to speak to their parents, and I was in shock. It was super crazy and emotional, but wonderful at the same time.
Even though I didn’t personally get a reading (which I was perfectly fine with), there were tiny things that Monica picked up on and said in other people’s readings that didn’t directly apply to them at that moment THAT APPLIED TO DIRECTLY TO MY AUNT I LOST. No lie. Monica had told us beforehand that spirits sometimes battle it out to get their messages through, and sometimes messages would be delivered that other people would connect to. That was me last night.
There was this one instance of two sisters getting a reading about a relative who had passed, where Monica asked if they knew someone named Anna. They didn’t. I do. My little cousin was named Anna at birth, but my aunt changed her name to BreAnna later. Later, another person had a father or brother who passed, and Monica saw her sign for a problem in the lungs. The man had passed from lung cancer but first had pneumonia before that. Shortly before she passed away, Aunt Carissa had had pneumonia herself, and ultimately developed blood clots in her lungs shortly after. The last little connection was during that last reading with the parents and the little girls I talked about. Monica mentioned something asking if one set of parents had a Christmas gift still wrapped for their little girl, who passed away from cancer almost a year ago. They said no. What’s crazy is that I have a Christmas gift for my aunt still wrapped that I keep near me! She had been admitted into the hospital for her blood clots shortly after Thanksgiving 2015. I was expecting her to get better, so I got her that gift to give her when she was discharged. Sadly, she never was, and passed on January 7, 2016.
It was really small things like that, which may seem silly or generic to some, but too connected for me to ignore. Though I kind of wanted either my aunt or Nana to come through themselves, this made me feel like my aunt specifically was around. Before this, both my sister and I have had other spiritual and unexplained moments regarding both my aunt and Nana. My sister has seen what looks to be spirits or angels above her head a few times at night. I’ve smelled both my aunt and Nana’s perfumes in some instances at random. At times that I’ve been sad and emotional about losing my aunt specifically as suddenly as I did, a song from her favorite singer, Jennifer Hudson, will pop up on shuffle on my iPhone. I’ve had butterflies randomly fly around me quite a few times at their grave sites, and every month I’ve gone to visit since my Nana passed away, there’s always been this big gust of wind that hits me out of nowhere as I talk to them. Most of these signs, Monica admitted to the audience, are ways of loved ones trying to show us that they’re there! I got the chance also to actually meet Monica after the event, and she was so sweet. I definitely will be seeing her when she comes back again!
So I share all of this to say, for those like me who have lost people near and dear to your heart, they’re still around in spirit form. I believed that before, but I REALLY believe it now. Though life is not the same, and never will be, last night brought me great comfort and peace knowing that I’m not going crazy, that my aunt, Nana, and other people I’ve had to say goodbye to are really watching over me. We say that, and it’s become real cliché, but it’s true. So look out for the signs of your loved ones. You’re not losing your mind! Remember that they are there for you through it all, even though you can’t see them physically. Losing someone is something that you never really get over; it just becomes a little bearable as time goes on. Allow yourself to grieve, but find joy and comfort in the good times that you had with those you said goodbye to.
Imperfectly,
Imperfectly B 