Today’s Words of Wisdom are from actress Shay Mitchell (loved her since Pretty Little Liars!). This video clip is all about having the right people around you that will be supportive in your journey (and vice versa!). Others who consistently bring you down should probably be kept at a distance.
Continue reading “Words of Wisdom: “Surround Yourself with Good Energy”-Shay Mitchell”Tag: friendship
Words of Wisdom: “Upgrade Your Friends”-Steve Harvey
I felt this Words of Wisdom clip from Steve Harvey way down in my spirit. I hope it gives any of y’all the confirmation you need about any so-called “friends.”
In this video, Steve reminds us that the word “friend” isn’t to be thrown around lightly. ANYBODY in your close circle ought to add to your life in some positive way. They ought to challenge you to be better and support you when you need it (and vice versa). Anyone who only provides laughs and the latest gossip is just an associate, for real. You need more than that when it comes to friends. That means upgrading some folks and downgrading some others.
Things change, and the people who you were once close to can become distant. The relationships that you once had can become stagnant. That doesn’t necessarily mean that things will never get back to how they were, but, in the meantime, if the people you call friends aren’t adding, then it’s time you start subtracting. Or at least taking a few steps back.
Check out Steve’s Words of Wisdom below!
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Who’s In Your Squad?
When it comes to friends, I always emphasize the importance of QUALITY over quantity. Because what’s the point of having all of these “friends,” and you can’t count on not one? Now, I have other good friends and acquaintances, but I’ve been rocking with these three heavy all together since high school, and a lot has happened. Cookouts, parties, graduations, and trips all over. Hospital visits and funerals. Ups and downs in relationships. Growth in our personal lives and careers. Throughout it all, we’ve stood by each other. And, even though we don’t see each other as much as we used to, I know they have my back and would be there for me in a heartbeat and vice versa. Chels, Tay, and Wally have been around, and I know they’ll stay around.
I thought of the special bond with my friends this week after looking at an old Instagram post I shared back in 2012 on Instagram:
A lot of us deal with so-called friends who are fickle, are only around when they want to be, or don’t really have our best interest at heart. Maybe you keep them around because you’ve known them for so long anyway. Maybe they provide some messy gossip or laughter, or have access to the hottest parties and events, and that’s why you still hit them up. Maybe you just need somebody to hang around. Even if you KNOW that these people aren’t real friends that you can truly rely on. Even if they’re constantly bringing you down. Even when, after you give all you have to them, all they do is take from you, with literally nothing to give in return.
Who you invite and keep in your space is all up to you. It’s literally your choice. Just like you opened the door to invite them in, you can close the door and let them go. When you complain about the negativity that a person is always bringing into your life, be honest about the fact that you’re the one allowing them to stay. After you’ve told them that what they’re doing is hurting you, and they still haven’t changed. After you’ve called them out for not being there for you. You keep them around. For what?
Whatever the reason, I’m here to tell you that there’s absolutely no point in hanging on to dead weight. I don’t care how long you’ve known a person, either. If we aren’t helping to build each other up in some way, you gotta go. If we aren’t vibing well overall, or every time I see you, you manage to get little digs in trying to make me feel small to feel better about yourself, we can’t be cool. If I’m putting all this time and effort in trying to be a good friend, and you can’t give me any effort in return, it’s time to go our separate ways. Y’all, at this point in my life, I don’t have enough energy or patience to deal with these kinds of people (friends or even family). We all deal with enough negativity at work, on social media, or wherever else. We don’t need it in our squads. We don’t need all of these fake friends that we really can’t depend on. We just need a few good people that we know, without a shadow of a doubt, will be there for us through it all.
This short clip from Tyler Perry’s play, Madea Goes to Jail, speaks on just that—having two or three good friends (or “roots”) that help us along the way:
As I’ve grown, I’ve learned to be careful about who I call friend, and who I rely on. Like Madea said, you step out on a lot of people and they have no probably leaving you high and dry. So I’ve said goodbye to some folks. We can strike up a conversation in text every now and then, and wish each other happy birthday and best wishes on Facebook. But I’m loving you from a distance…a LONG distance. I’m at the age now where I really only want good people around me. People who I know, as I’m a good friend to them, they’ll be good friends to me.
So if you’re holding on to dead weight, let them go. If you know you’re giving effort, and the people who claim to be friends can’t be bothered, let them go. You only have time for real people in your squad that you can trust, and you really don’t even need a lot! If you have two or three amazing people, or even just one, that’s more than a lot of people truly have. I know I’ve got mine, and they ain’t going nowhere!
Who’s in your squad? Show them love in the comments below!
Imperfectly,
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Lonely Elderly Woman Asks Her Neighbor to Be Her Friend with Sad Note
90-year-old Wanda out in San Francisco was living alone and very much sad and lonely. One of her sons had died of cancer, and her other two live very far away. The poor woman lives alone, and knew not a soul in her neighborhood.
Fed up of being alone, she reached out to her neighbor, Marleen Brooks, who lived a little bit down the street. In a bittersweet note, Ms. Wanda expressed that she was by herself and asked if the two of them could be friends.
Marleen quickly went over to her elderly neighbor’s house with a friend the next night, introducing herself with a friendly smile and some cupcakes! She expressed in a letter to a newsman, Frank Somerville of KTVU News, all that happened:
“Frank!
She’s such a sweet lady!
And she was over the moon when we came over.
Wanda said:
‘I hope you didn’t think I was stupid for writing you, but I had to do something.
Thank you so much for coming over.
I’ve lived here for 50 years and don’t know any of my neighbors.’
Wanda has 3 sons, one died last year of cancer.
The other two live far away.
She’s 90 and and is on oxygen and has congestive heart failure, osteoporosis, among other ailments.
We brought her cupcakes (didn’t have enough time with work to make the banana bread).
I also made sure she knew she can call us at anytime and that I’ll be back to spend time with her!
I’m sure Wanda and I will have some great times.”
This was so, so sweet, but so sad at the same time! Imagine how many other elders are out there, living alone with no one around to talk to! How we treat our elders in America is a whole other topic in America for another day, but man, that’s crazy. Glad Miss Wanda reached out to one of her neighbors, and now it looks like she has a great, new friend! Hoping she finds even more!
But this reminds me of an old adage found in Proverbs. In a paraphrase, “To have a friend, you must show yourself friendly.” (Prov. 18: 24). I’ve been thinking about this myself about having and KEEPING friends. In order to have friends, you have to be kind yourself and be willing to reach out and spend time with other people. In Miss Wanda’s case, it wasn’t her fault that she was alone. But she was tired of it, so she kindly asked someone to be hers.
My own circle is SMALL (and I like it that way), but I can often get caught up in the hustle and bustle of my life, and not even think to reach out to the friends and loved ones I have around me sometimes a lot of times. You can’t expect people to keep reaching out to you and you’re not reciprocating that. So this story inspired me to just be a better friend to my circle and possibly make new ones!
Imperfectly,
Imperfectly B 