2016 was the year where I wanted to quit EVERYTHING. I wanted to call it quits on my writing, on my 9-5, on my personal life, on my financial goals. In spite of people thinking the complete opposite, I felt like I had been working my tail off, and was consistently falling flat on my face.
I was being rejected left and right from new opportunities and pitches. My boyfriend and I were struggling to balance our hustles and time with each other, with both of us starting to feel slight. I was searching and searching and couldn’t find an affordable place of my own to live. And I had lost two of the most influential women in my life basically back to back. I felt incredibly stuck and also mad. And it was beyond just making me a little upset and discouraged. It was straight pissing me off and making me want to give up completely.
BUT…I couldn’t help but keep going.
Maybe it was the strong passion I had towards my goals or the fact that I hate quitting. Maybe I was just a straight fool, but I couldn’t stop. I told myself in 2017 that I would do what I needed to do to make life better all around. I was led to start work on this site, and the positive vibes from it helped get me together. I stopped pointing fingers and complaining so much, and attempted to do all that I could do. I prayed more and reflected, and worked on having a more positive mindset and being more about my life. I communicated feelings better with those around me and made more time for my personal life. And after every rejection or failure (because those definitely didn’t stop happening), I learned from it, picked myself up and kept it pushing. And every now and then, God would give me a win to remind me where I belonged and keep me motivated.
I keep on falling and falling, but I always get back up. Fall down seven times, stand up eight. That is really times 100, but it’s real. You’re going to come up against some hard challenges and times when you seriously want to throw in the towel. But if you’re truly invested in making a better life for yourself all the way around, from professional to personal, you’ll get back up.
As cliché as this analogy may be, look at babies. When a baby is first born, he can’t even hold his head on his own, let alone try to walk or run off somewhere. But a baby’s curiosity and determination really, in retrospect, is something fierce. He wants to get moving on his own terribly. He starts with little things—rolling over, scooting across the floor, grabbing onto things to learn to stand. Then it’s the few wobbly steps and falls right on his butt. He’s laser-focused though, and keeps on falling down and standing back up until he finally gets it. Pretty soon, those steps are confident and smooth, and he even puts some speed on it and learns to run. However, all of that doesn’t come without its share of missteps, falls, and probably even bumps and bruises. But he picks himself up, learns from his mistakes, and keeps going because all he knows is that he wants to move forward. For real, for real, babies are crazy resilient like that.
I keep on falling and falling, but I always get back up. Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
That’s how we have to be. We have to be so determined to move forward that even failures, mistakes, and rejections can’t deter us. If and when we fall, we don’t stay down too long. Matter of fact, after a while, you start to see failures as part of the process and it doesn’t phase you like it used to at all! But I know it still gets hard, so here are three ways to work through your failures:
- Remember that your delay is not your denial. Things may not happen exactly how you want to right now, but that doesn’t mean they never will. The only way that they DEFINITELY won’t is if you walk away for good.
- Throw yourself into your goals anyway. It can be building up your business idea, starting a new class to strengthen your skills, or even beginning counseling or meditation (mental/emotional goals matter too!),
- Find outlets to de-stress. There are going to be times when you’re completely irked and over it, but finding outlets to help you keep calm helps. Exercise. Hang out with family and friends. Whatever makes you happy and can take your mind off things sometimes.
Have you continually had to pick yourself up after failing multiple times? How did it pay off for you? Tell me all about it in the comments!