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B Better, Not Bitter

My pastor preached earlier this year on Resurrection Sunday, using the story of Mary Magdalene after the death of Jesus. Because she was so overcome with grief in losing Jesus, she forgot completely about the promise of Jesus that He would rise again. She gets to the tomb Pastor stated that her blurred vision literally through her tears made her completely miss the fact that Jesus had stepped up to her to talk. That blurred vision caused her to make bad judgment, and think that Jesus was a gardener that might know where Jesus’ body was, instead of seeing that Who she was looking for was right in front of her.

Now this isn’t me trying to preach to y’all or anything, but it was a message that stuck with me. In that moment, I realized just how much I relate to her. We all can, religious or not, because we often let the circumstances of our lives blind us. Particularly, we can let our rejection and losses tear us up, forgetting that the story doesn’t end here and that we are built to WIN. In a lot of cases, we become bitter because our lives aren’t where we think they should be.

Case in point, a short while back, I had a close friend who got an amazing new job opportunity in another state. I was happy for him, because I know how bad he wanted it and how bad he worked for it. Later that day, though, I cried into my pillow because, looking at his life, I felt I wasn’t where I should be. I wasn’t angry at him, but ugly jealousy reared its ugly head and blurred my vision, just like Mary. I became resentful at my own situation, instead of holding on to the truth that my delay was not my denial.

That bitterness ATE. ME. UP. Truth be told, it was eating me up for a long time before this. So much so, that I didn’t want to write anymore. I was still working, but, at the root, I was uninspired and unmotivated for a long time. I thought, “What’s the point, if I’m just going to stay stuck in the same place?” I let my circumstances harden my heart, and stop me from putting the real work in that I needed to try to get to a better place. I kept on comparing myself to other people, getting mad that I wasn’t as far along that I thought I should be. And, as a Christian, I stopped believing that God was looking out for me. I pretty much settled for mediocre for a long while. All of that negativity only ended up holding me back at the end of the day. 

2017 has been a life-changing year for me, though. I had to have a real honest moment with myself, and first admit that my negative thinking was the root behind my inaction, which ultimately kept me from the results I wanted. When I decided to focus more on the positive, keep hope alive and all that, things really did start changing for me! I Every day ain’t sunshine and rainbows, but I try my best to keep my head up, be grateful for the things I do have, and not be resentful about the things I don’t. I changed up my work pattern, continued to step out of my comfort zone, and tried new things to get towards my goals. Instead of letting where I’m not hold me down, I focus on doing the best that I can to get even further. I’m now determined to be better, not bitter. I do all that I can on my end, and give the rest to God to handle.

We’re all human. Let’s be real, a lot of us have those instances where the hard hits of life take us down for a minute. We may get angry at or envious of others, or all disgruntled because things aren’t going the way we thought they would at the time frame we thought they would. It happens. When moments like that arise, take some time away to reflect on how far you’ve come, what you can change on your end to be better, and continue to dream and execute plans to get to higher heights. Exercise hope in your vision for your life, but also patience, because greatness takes time. Take it from me. Staying in a negative mindset only ends up holding you back in the long run. Have faith that what’s meant for you will be yours, and keep plugging away!

Share your thoughts on this post with me in the comments below!

Imperfectly,

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