(This post is a part of my “B” series which I’ll deliver once a month! Continue to B Kind. B Silly. B Inspired. B Imperfect.)
While roaming the Inner Harbor in Baltimore a while back, I ran into an old friend from my days at Loyola. After freaking out and giving hugs after not seeing her in so long, we began to catch up, giving each other the rundown on what we had going on. “I see you doing big things, girl,” she said. I chuckled it off and basically said, “Thanks but not really, though.” She said, “Yeah, you really are!” and I responded, “No, I promise you I’m not.”
It wasn’t me trying to be fake humble or anything. I, honest to God, don’t feel like I “made it” yet. I have quite a ways to go to get to where I want to be. People come up to me or hit me up online occasionally complimenting me on Imperfectly B, and my past writing on The Spotlight and other places, like I’m some big time person or something. Nah. I’m just a girl with a Macbook with a need to release my emotions through writing and who knows how to work WordPress a bit. My life is nowhere near glam. I’m just now, in my eyes, starting to really get my life together.
Even with the things I’ve done, I still semi feel like I’m on the bottom of the totem pole. I’ll never forget one time I was interviewing an artist for Spotlight, and I said to him, “Oh, I’m no big time blogger or anything.” He said, “You’re blogging and making moves…don’t ever discredit yourself.” It took a complete stranger to help shake off those negative thoughts a little bit. A lot of it stems from my comparing myself to other people and their accomplishments online. It’s a huge NO because one, everyone’s life journey is different. Two, people also tend to show you only the good on social media. Lastly, you don’t know what people had to go through to get to where they are. So I’m working on that.
I think I, along with a lot of people, put huge expectations on ourselves. It’s all well and good to want and expect more for yourself, but failing to meet those expectations can sometimes throw us for a loop and make us feel inadequate. It definitely did (and sometimes still does) for me. I feel like I’m not doing enough, or, even at times, that I’M not enough myself.
I’m determined now, though, to truly be proud in and walk in confidence in the skills I’ve developed and the experience I earned over the years. I was refreshing my online portfolio looking over my resume and clips, like I’ve done quite a bit so far. God’s blessed me with a lot of good opportunity and experience. I may not be where I want to be, but that doesn’t mean I should forget where I am right now. Back in 2009, when I first started blogging, I was a rising college sophomore with no idea where my writing would take me. I’ve come a long way since then.
So, even if you aren’t quite where you would like to be right now, take pride in how far you’ve come. Whether it be with your career goals, your weight loss journey, whatever, don’t wait until that ultimate goal is reached to celebrate. Be proud of each little bit of progress along the journey!
Just my thoughts on this Friday…enjoy your day, ya’ll!