“Everything that you’re going through is preparing you for what you asked for.”
Today marks five years since I graduated from Loyola University Maryland. Facebook had all the pictures and videos waiting for me in “On This Day.” Definitely one of the proudest moments of my life. However, my high expectations that day in regards to my career and life were no where near what I got.
A part of what I’ve been through during these past five years, and am still going through, are seasons of delay. I mean, SERIOUS delays, or at least, I think so. There are so many things I want to accomplish and have been working at for quite a while, personally and professionally. After I graduated, I was unemployed for almost a year. When I got a job, it had nothing to do with media. It was literally taken out of desperation. The fact that I’m not writing full time yet still bothers me. I’m grateful for my accomplishments so far, but I still have a ways to go, and would be lying if I said I didn’t get discouraged. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t compare myself to people I went to school with, the opportunities they’ve received versus my own (Sidenote: comparison is the devil ugh. That’s another post coming soon). These periods of delay have had me questioning a lot, like if I’m truly meant to be a writer, or if I’m supposed to have and do other things.
You might be experiencing this too. You don’t understand why your blog hasn’t blown up, or why you haven’t been able to snag another job that fits what you’re passionate about. You might still be living at home while you see people buying houses and all that jazz (serious
So what’s probably the reason behind all these delays? You’re not ready. That might be a hard pill to swallow, but it’s true. That’s what I’ve found. Case in point, my freelance writing. I’m blessed to at least have writing as a side hustle now, with quite a few websites under my belt. But that’s now at 26. There’s no way I would’ve been able to manage all that I do at 21 when I first left Loyola. Why? I wasn’t disciplined enough. I wasn’t productive enough. I wasn’t hungry enough. I thought I was, but, looking back, mentally I wasn’t ready. I would’ve let stuff fall to the wayside. It wasn’t until I went without writing jobs for a while and couldn’t find other good opportunities, that I went for my goal even harder. Now that I have other opportunities, I make sure I work my tail off to keep them!
Another delay? My starting Imperfectly B. See, I tried my hand at this on the side when I was younger, while I was running my entertainment site, The Spotlight. I called myself attempting to give life lessons, but I hadn’t truly experienced life (good and bad) yet. I wasn’t disciplined and consistent enough with posting. I still had to become a stronger writer and more confident in my voice. If I had started this site instead of Spotlight when I was 18 or even 21, I KNOW I would’ve failed at it. Well, let me not be so negative. I don’t think I would’ve done as well. In fact, I tried my hand at writing a few personal blog posts for my portfolio website, and had to say, “Brittany girl, let’s not.” I wasn’t ready.
Let’s be real. For those who’ve experienced successes or new chances, whether it be at work, in love, or whatever, can you say that you would have done well at it a few years back? Were you ready then? Are you really ready now for all that you want? A lot of times, these delays are to help you grow and learn some hard lessons. That way when you do receive what you’re asking for, you’re actually ready to handle it! That way, you maybe even appreciate it more!
I know that now. I have learned to truly trust in the timing of my life. Your delay is not a denial. Your current circumstance is not your forever circumstance. Not if you don’t make it so with your own negativity! So, until the time comes for your purpose to be fulfilled, be comforted and stand strong in the fact, that all that you’re going through is simply to prepare you for what you wanted in the first place. Keep grinding!